What is Voice Dialogue?
Voice Dialogue is a facilitation method created, after more than ten years of extensive research, by Hal and Sidra Stone, well-known American psychologists and also a couple in their private lives. This method is based on the theory of the Psychology of Selves and on the foundations of Transactional Analysis. The theory of the Psychology of Selves is based on the assumption that within us there are several sub-personalities (see: Jung, Berne, Satir).
What are these sub-personalities?
They are groups of emotions, thoughts and behaviors that we create according to the environment in which we live. We grow up in a given context which conditions our way of thinking, living and acting. The result is the creation of Primary Parts within us that form our Psychology of Selves.
What is the benefit of becoming aware of these sub-personality groups?
It is very difficult to become aware of these selves because we generally tend to identify with only some of them. When we are completely identified with some of our selves we completely ignore the existence of other selves within us. The first task is to become aware of these Primary sub-personalities who govern our lives. We must therefore separate from them to embrace all of our Parts – take space.
What does it mean to embrace all of our parts?
It means that while we identify with Primary sub-personalities, the parts opposed to the Primary ones are actually disowned selves. For example, one of the Parts many of us can identify with is the Part that makes us "do" things. We are always too busy, we run, we do a thousand things, we can't sit still even when we're on vacation. Our agendas are full, we complain about not having enough time and when we have it, we end up filling it by doing even more things. This primary sub-personality, "doing", inevitably leads to an imbalance with respect to the Part of "being-staying": simply being without doing anything. For some, this polarity is unimaginable, yet the more our "doing" increases, the more our need to "be-stay" increases. Lately, for example, we see the emergence of many people's need to follow meditation classes, contemplation or mindfulness courses exactly because of this need for balance.
Voice Dialogue is a facilitation method
that allows us to become aware of our sub-personalities
Where do all dis-owned sub-personalities go?
All our Parts, even the disowned ones or those that we use less, are always present, they do not disappear. We could find some of them in our dreams, intuitions and behaviors. The more unexpected and unpredictable the behavior, the more disowned is the Part associated with it. In extreme cases our disowned parts might come to life through our illnesses. The measurement of how much a Part or sub-personality is disowned is the strength with which we judge others or ourselves when we exhibit a certain behavior, or the strength with which we are attracted to certain people and not to others or the strength with which we reject others, these are are very strong signs of disowned sub-personalities in action.
If we have Primary Selves, that govern our lives, and opposing disowned ones, that struggle to come out, what does Voice Dialogue do?
Voice dialogue is a method, a process through which a person in a protected and facilitated environment can experience and live both their Primary sub-personalities, that they know well, as well as their disowned ones. Thanks to Voice Dialogue we learn to separate from those Selves with which we have identified and embrace / integrate those parts of us that have been disowned during our growth.
How does the process of separation from our primary selves happen?
By living and experiencing both our primary as well as disowned selves. By stimulating the discovery of all our parts, a process of awareness can begin. Hal and Sidra Stone call this process "the conscious ego state", in which the individual, as an external spectator, gradually manages to see their sub-personalities and to welcome and integrate them in their life. To each primary self corresponds its different twin, the corresponding disowned self which will have characteristics diametrically opposite to those of the primary self. For this reason, when we develop the conscious self we position ourselves between two of our polarities: our Primary self and the corresponding disowned self. That of the conscious self is not a fixed state but it is an ever-changing process: the clarity of ourselves that we acquire in the process of dis-identification with our selves.
What is the real power of Voice Dialogue?
The separation from one's Primary selves and the discovery of disowned selves creates a revolution in one's own consciousness that is difficult to imagine. People who experience Voice Dialogue in their lives feel a sense of full freedom, discovering new resources never imagined before. If feels like escaping from an artificial prison in which the primary selves have confined all other selves preventing their free and unfiltered expression. Voice Dialogue is the creation of resources – therefore coaching.
Voice Dialogue gives a sense of full freedom,
discovering new resources never imagined before
What links Voice Dialogue to coaching?
Certainly the creation of resources, a profound sense of conscious choice. By using Voice Dialogue during coaching sessions, the coachees experience a very strong leap in awareness that creates an immediate and profound change that translates into actions. They develop a broader vision of their own resources and a sense of full freedom and empowered choice. Furthermore, during the facilitation of the Voice Dialogue process the coach uses ICF core competences such as: building trust, presence, active listening, direct communication, and awareness building. In fact, there is no Voice Dialogue process without strong deep listening skills that explore emotions, tone of voice, pauses, silences and behaviors of the client's sub-personalities, exactly in line with the ICF markers. Voice Dialogue is an experience and only by living it it's possible to understand its power.
Who can benefit from a Voice Dialogue experience?
In general, anyone who wants to develop their awareness of their primary and disowned selves. In practical terms, the tensions between our parts emerge more evidently in relation to some recurring situations both in private as well as in a professional context, for example: difficulty in making decisions, uncertainty in dealing with conflicts, issues in relating with others . Voice Dialogue is aimed at all those who are ready to start a path of self-awareness aimed at expanding their possibilities, rediscovering hidden resources and learning to use them more functionally in the present.
What are the most recurring themes in a Voice Dialogue session?
Here are some concrete examples of topics brought up by our clients. In a professional context: • Conflict between colleagues or collaborators • Anger management that undermines relationships with colleagues • Manager in top position anchored to his concept of perfectionism • Female Leadership - Limiting beliefs about one's own abilities • Difficulty making important decisions • Ability to negotiate with very different people • Demotion of professionals who held important roles • Strong limiting beliefs, such as "I won't be able to achieve that goal" • Loss and/or job search at age 50 In a private context: • Management of emotions • Difficulty making decisions • Couple relationship problems • Disfunctional relationships
The tensions between our parts emerge more evidently in relation to some recurring situations
I'm an ICF MCC Coach, ICF Mentor & Assessor, Supervisor, trainer and facilitator in Leadership programs and Voice Dialogue facilitator. Behind me I have 30+ years in the banking industry as L&D manager among other assignments.
Voice Dialogue is part of my life since 2013, when I was trained directly by John Kent.
I keep on investing in my continuous improvement through the supervision of world renouned trainers such as Robert Stamboliev and Jaime Ona Pangaia.
I'm an ICF PCC Coach. EQ Assessor
and also a Voice Dialogue facilitator.
Behind me I have a decade of business experience, having held managerial roles in the marketing area of a few multinational consumer goods companies.
Voice Dialogue plays a pivotal role in my personal and professional development as it allows me to work on my mission to foster the discovery of our inner selves as inexhaustible engines of energy.
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Voice Dialogue session.
Experience the increase in self-awareness and greater control over your own emotions and learn how to best master them in your day to day.
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This event is specially designed for those who enjoy working in a group environment and would like to understand the key tools that we can use to awaken and work with our inner selves. This event is offered on demand provided that a sufficient number of participants is reached.